Cheating On My Wife (With Junk Food)

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Welcome back to The 3s, the show where we try to find out what it's like for all the people in our lives who don't have type one, but are affected by it somehow. In this episode, we have Blanca and her husband, Luis.

They met in their home country of Venezuela eight years ago. After moving to Florida, Blanca started exhibiting symptoms of high blood sugar, and was misdiagnosed with type two diabetes. But when her blood sugar stayed high, she did some research and figured out she probably had LADA - latent autoimmune diabetes in adults - where, like type one diabetes, your pancreas stops producing insulin, but it progresses much slower than you see in kids and teens diagnosed with type one, which is why it's so often misdiagnosed as type two.

While adjusting to a chronic disease is complicated in any marriage, Blanca and Luis had to make this change twice, first with the misdiagnosis, and then again for the correct diagnosis. And while this has put a strain on them at times, the feeling that comes through most in their conversation is just how much they care about each other, despite the complications this disease has brought into the relationship. They give us all lessons in patience, understanding, and unconditional love. Let's hear their story.

Blanca: My name is Blanca. I'm the one with type one D. I'm 25 years old. I'm from - well, we're both from Venezuela. But we have been the - well, I have been in the United States for about three years. And my husband -

Luis: I’m Luis, I'm 29. And I've been here five years.

Blanca: Yeah, you were here two years more than me. We were - we were apart like, yeah, about two years. Like we've been together for almost eight years.

Luis: Almost eight, yeah.

Blanca: Yeah. And he went to - he came to study here. Um, he's a pilot.

Luis: Yep.

Blanca: And then -

Luis: Airplane pilot.

Blanca: [laughs] And then I came, I came here after two years, he was here, because we couldn't be apart anymore. [laughs] So, I was studying languages in Venezuela, but when I got here, I've had - had like a couple of different jobs. I'm currently working at an ophthalmologist's office. And I'm, like, at the front desk, you know, collecting copays and everything. I have learned a lot about insurance, which has been really helpful for all I have been through with my type one diabetes.

Luis: I work at Lufthansa, the German airline. Before that, I had a couple of rough patches, Regarding jobs, but it's slowly getting more steady, which is good for both of us.

Blanca: Yeah, finally. First, I was misdiagnosed.

Luis: But first, we should talk about that. How did -how did we meet?

Blanca: Oh yeah.

Luis: You were diagnosed and all that.

Blanca: I was - one of my best friends, I was at her house, and she was having kind of a party. You know, a reunion -

Luis: Who also happens to be my friend.

Blanca: Yeah. So I was at her house. And she invited a lot of people. And when I saw my husband walk in, I was like, "Oh, he's cute," but he had a girlfriend. So she told me, and I was like, forget it. I'm not gonna get into that, whatever. But I'm, like, a lot of the guys that were there were trying to like, talk to me, and you know, because I was like new to the whole group and everything.

Luis: But everyone was like, "Oh my god, who's the new girl?"

Blanca: Yeah, so everyone started asking me like, who I was and everything. And they asked me for my number.

Luis: You were like, "You're not gonna get my number." So I was like, "No, but you can get mine if you want."

Blanca: [laughs] Okay, he had a girlfriend. So, the next day, he broke up with her. I don't think it was because of me.

Luis: No, no, no.

Blanca: And then we started talking, and we started going out, and then that was in 2000....

Luis: Eleven.

Blanca: Eleven, yes.

Luis: Then I moved here and then you moved here.

Blanca: Yeah. So then, when I moved here -

Luis: At first, everything was okay. Then, you started getting these weird symptoms. You would go up the - the stairs and get tired like, like if you just ran a marathon -

Blanca: Yeah.

Luis: - and you just went up the stairs, you know? And you would get up, like seven times during the night to go - to go to the bathroom.

Blanca: I remember one time we went to Halloween Horror Nights, and we only have like two hours away - No, like one hour and a half away from Orlando at that time, and we had to stop for the restroom like, four times. And he was like, "What's wrong with you?" And I was like, "I don't know."

Luis: Then I just started researching. We both started researching to see what -

Blanca: - what was going on.

Luis: Because it wasn't normal.

Blanca: Yeah. And at that time, I was really close with a doctor. I didn't have insurance. But I was really close with a doctor, a gynecologist. So I told her like, "Hey, um, I think I have diabetes. And I need you to help me, because I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go." And she was like, "I don't think you have that," she said, because she -

Luis: Everyone, everyone thought you were pregnant.

Blanca: Yeah, no. She gave me a pregnancy test. And I was like, "I'm not pregnant. Like, I know. I'm not pregnant." I took the test. I wasn't pregnant. So she's like, "Okay, let's run the labs." She was really nice. She did it for free. She did the blood test on Friday. And she told me like, "Oh, I'll just text you on Monday, and tell you what's wrong." She didn't text me on Monday. And I was like, "Oh." So she waited, like, she met with me. And she was like, "Okay, here are your labs, you are diabetic. I just don't know what type, you know. You have to go to a primary care doctor, an endocrinologist." She gave me the name of a place I could go without insurance, that wouldn't be so expensive. And that's one day, run some - some more blood tests. And the doctor ended up telling me that I had type two diabetes. I was, like, in shock. And he was like, "You have type two diabetes, but I don't know why." He explained to me about insulin resistance and everything, like really thorough, really. So I thought he knew what he was talking about. And I was like, I mean, he really explained. He told me like, "Well, if you eat really well, and you don't eat a lot of processed food or manmade food," like he called them, you, you, you can get rid of it. And I was like, "Okay." So I started taking the Metformin, and I started feeling better, and blah, blah, blah. We had some drawbacks. [laughs] Because I was mad at you because you were eating stuff I couldn't eat, like. Well, when they told me I had type two, I wasn't supposed to eat a lot of things. So I was not supposed to eat, like, Taco Bell or McDonald's and we, we ate a lot of those things.

Luis: Junk food.

Blanca: Yeah, so he - I was like eating vegetables. And he would bring, like, Taco Bell, and I used to get so upset. I used to scream and like, "Why did you bring this food to the house if I cannot eat it? I'm not allowed!"

Luis: Yeah. There was a point that I felt like I was cheating on my wife with junk food. Pretty much. I had to, you know, go outside and eat outside. I couldn't bring food home because she will get upset. So it was definitely not fun. It was very, it was very hard.

Blanca: Yeah. And I mean, at the beginning, I could control my blood sugars; I was doing kind of fine with the Metformin. But then it started getting worse again. There was, like, a time where my meter ran out of battery, and I kind of went wild. [laughs] I went wild like, I was like, "What the heck, I'll just eat whatever I want. I don't even want to check my sugars." And then -

Luis: I found out.

Blanca: He got mad at me. He was like, "What you doing?"

Luis: Because I always try to look after her, and I will ask, "Are you, are you eating this? Are you doing that? Are you, are you in control of your blood sugar?" And she'd be like, "Yeah, yeah." But then I noticed she had, like, those symptoms again, she would get up at night, like frequently, so I was like, "Hm, there's something going on." And then I asked her, "Hey, how's your blood sugar?" She was like, "I don't know." "What'd you mean, you don't know?" "Oh, yeah, I don't have a battery." "Since when?" "Oh, I don't - a couple of weeks?" I was like, "What?"

Blanca: He was like, "Okay, we're going to go tomorrow morning to get new batteries, and you're going to check your blood sugar again." And I was like, "I don't want to, it's always high. Like, I can't seem to get it down." And he was like, "No, you have to. We have to." So we went - we went and got the batteries. And I was like, 350?

Luis: Yeah, something like that.

Blanca: And he was like, "I told you so. Like. What are you doing?" And I'm like, "I still feel I'm in control." I was like, "I want to start eating like really, really low carb to see if I can get it down."

Luis: I was going to get like really, really frustrated because you were actually eating really well.

Blanca: Yeah. So I did it, but it was still like, I was always like 130, 120. I'm like, "Dude, I'm only eating, like, 20 carbs a day, like what's wrong?" That's when I started investigating. I just saw the nurse practitioner, and I told them like, "Hey look, I think I have LADA, and I need you to test me for this." And when it came back positive, I have to say, I actually was relieved.

Luis: And I remember that at first, I would kind of forbid you from eating certain things. I'd be like, "No, don't eat this, don't eat that." But now I'm a little bit more relaxed, because I know she's in control.

Blanca: Yeah. Because before he was like, "No, don't eat this!" And I'm like, "But now I can eat!" Like, he was still in the mindset where I couldn't eat certain stuff. I've learned, too. Because when you go to the doctor, they really don't explain a lot. They just tell you "Do this, and do this," which you most likely don't end up doing like that [laughs], especially with type one, we like - you don't end up doing what the doctors.... I've learned, like, more stuff from the community on Instagram. And I mean, it's not that, that people give medical advice, but sometimes you learn, like, tips and tricks.

Luis: Are you hopeful or scared for the future?

Blanca: Well...

Luis: I'm always hopeful. I like to be positive all the time.

Blanca: Yeah, you are, like, a lot more positive. [laughs]

Luis: Yeah, I just, I feel like every obstacle that comes your way, comes for a reason, and we're always going to be able to go through it. It's okay to be afraid sometimes, but not always. I always like to stay positive. So yeah, sometimes we are a little scared about the future. But we always try to stay hopeful. And positive.

Blanca: Yeah, I mean, I think I changed, like, a little bit after this, because you start asking, like, "Why me?" and, you know, all of that. And, and I do get scared sometimes. Because, you know, you have to have a tight control of your type one, because if not, you get all these complications. Like, since I work at an ophthalmologist's office, I see all the people getting lasers all the time, people that have lost their vision due to diabetes. It's hard sometimes. So that's, like, I try to stay on top of it. Mostly I'm scared of that, but I mean, I guess it's a good thing and a bad thing. Because I really stay, I try to stay on top of it, but also, like, being scared is like, what's making me do it [laughs], so, I don't know. It's good and bad. But I am hopeful. And I think this will help to, like, when we - we're ready to have kids, I think that will help. Like, I don't have as much - as tight control as I would have when I want to have kids. Because I know it has to be a lot tighter. But I mean, I think it's - it's possible, like. A lot of people with type one diabetes have kids and I just, we're just gonna have to be a thing when the time comes. Because...

Luis: Mhm. Like always.

Blanca: Yeah. But like, really closer. [laughs] I mean, sometimes I really do want to eat things, that'll, like, raise my blood sugar a lot. And sometimes, maybe I don't bolus the best, but maybe if we traded it together when we're trying to get pregnant, it would be better. But I'm also sorta like, I mean, I know not everyone has like - not everyone that has type one D gets kids with type one D, but I'm also scared about that a little bit.

Luis: Yeah, yeah, this one's something that's in the back of your head all the time. But, I mean, if it comes to that, we'll - at least we'll know how to deal with it, because we now have the experience. And we can be able to give them a long life, you know?

Blanca: like do the best we can, like. But it is something, like, that's always in the back of your head. And I mean, insurance and everything. Like, right now I feel like I have a pretty good insurance even though I pay a lot for it. But it's really good. And it covers, like, my copays are not as high as I thought they would be for the pump, for example, for the omnipod. And the copay for the insulin is actually high, but with like some coupons we found it's only $25. So it's, it's not bad. But sometimes I get scared about that too. Like if I change my job. I know I'm not gonna have this insurance, which does cover a lot. So I'm always thinking about that too. Like, when I don't have this insurance, what am I going to do? Like, I don't know. And if you have kids, like, you absolutely need to get them a good insurance, like, especially if they have type one D.

Luis: Yeah, naturally it's always a concern. You never know.

Blanca: Yeah. As someone without type one diabetes, how do you feel type one diabetes has changed your life?

Luis: How?

Blanca: Yeah.

Luis: Completely. Just, just being with you, learning, all about - all about, it has, yeah, it completely changed my, the way I feel about it, the way I see things, like before, I would think like, um, if a person has diabetes, I mean, they're going to be, they're never going to be the same, there's certain stuff that they're not going to be able to do. But that's definitely not the case. If you have diabetes, there's, you can do anything that any other person can do. That doesn't stop you from being normal, it's just, you have to take extra care of yourself. But you can do whatever you want. Like we went, we're Atlanta, Britain, and there is a player that has diabetes, and he plays at the highest level, you know, so you can do whatever you want.

Blanca: Would you have any advice for any other husbands [laughs] that are out there, that are new to this, or?

Luis: Well, if you have diabetes, and your partner doesn't, try to be more polite. That person brings food home, just to understand. Like, you got to give it time, don't get mad at that person all the time, because he or she doesn't understand what's going on completely, because there's something new in his or her life as well. So it's hard for you and also for - for your partner. And if you are on the other end, like me, yeah, just try to be as supportive as you - as you can, all the time. Try to understand, try to help in any way you can. Because it's the least you can do. Bring, bring treats every now and then. [laughs]

Blanca: Yeah, they can work as low treats, just don't eat them all the time. [laughs]

Luis: Yeah.

Blanca: I'm just like, really thankful that I got this husband. Because even though, I mean, it has been hard for both of us, he has always been there. And he's been really like, patient with me, even when I get mad, and I don't get mad at him anymore because of that. But I used to get mad at him. And now I think he has helped me like, look at things, like, in another way, and also think a little bit more about him. Because it's not just all about me, sometimes I do feel like it's all about me. But I'm trying to, like, not do that and think about him also, because this is not easy. Like, it's not easy for me, it's not easy for him. And it's not, it's not fair if I make it even harder. So I'm really, really thankful that he is here with me. And I also think that he's been, like, my only support. Well, not my only only one. But the only person that has been really, really, really close to all of this. Because my parents aren't right here. And we're basically, you know, living on our own, starting our own family, even if it's just the two of us and our two cats. [laughs]

Luis: Four of us.

Blanca: So, I mean, I think he has, you have a lot of responsibility. And I think you, you have handled it really well. And I really appreciate it.

Luis: Yeah, it takes time. But I like I said, before, at first wasn't easy. But once you get used to it, your life is just normal. Like anyone else's, this is not a big deal. You shouldn't be afraid of these conditions. Like I said before, there's a lot of things that people don't know about diabetes. But once you start to understand it, you'll notice that it's something you can deal with on a daily basis without a problem. You can live your life with your partner without - without any problems. Yeah, I mean, it shouldn't stop you from doing anything or living your life differently.

Blanca: Yeah. And it's something I have learned too, because this is new for me. Like, I know a lot of people have lived with type 1 D for a long, long time. I am just, I actually was correctly diagnosed this May and, it's a lot to learn. But it also has taught me that we shouldn't, like, really judge anyone on, you know, what they're going through, and we just have to be, like, a little bit more comprehensive with everyone. And not, yeah, not judge.

Luis: Yeah and always patient with other people.

Blanca: We have to be a lot more patient. But people need to be more understanding and be willing to learn because if, if other people is not willing to learn, we cannot do anything, like.

Luis: Yeah, that's, that's something I think you're doing great with your Instagram, is that you're always talking about it. And we have the advantage that we have all this social media nowadays. So it's easy to spread the word.

Blanca: Yeah, it's, it's a good thing, I think. And that has helped me a lot too, because I don't feel like I'm alone. And I know it has helped a lot of other people. It's, it's really great. I think we're done. It was really nice doing this. We hope you like it. We were just being honest. And trying to share our experiences with type one D. And I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you.

Luis: Bye bye.

The 3s is a production of Beta Cell, and it's produced by me, Craig Stubing. A very special thanks to Blanca and Luis for sharing their story. If you haven't yet, subscribe to Beta Cell wherever you listen to podcasts to get all of our shows downloaded onto your listening device automatically. While you're there, leave us a review. It really helps other people find us. If you love The 3s or any of the Beta Cell shows, you can support us on Patreon. There you can get bonus clips, as well as our supporter exclusive show, Out of Range After Dark. I'm Craig Stubing. And this is the 3s.