Stop Talking

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Craig: I'm Craig and this is Thicker Than Water. My aunt Laura was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes just about three weeks ago and I've gotten to witness her deal with this the same way that she saw me learn to live with type 1 when I was diagnosed at 13 years old, but when I was a kid a lot of the difficulties were hidden from me, not intentionally, but you don't see a lot of seventh-graders on the phone with insurance companies and doctor's offices. I really only had to deal with the day to day management of the disease.

My aunt, on the other hand, doesn't have a parent to do all of this for her. She has to learn how to control her blood sugars while on the phone trying to get the medications and devices she needs to control it. It's been frustrating witnessing all of these roadblocks built into our healthcare system, but I've been really impressed by how quickly she's been able to get into a routine.

Is it the new normal yet?

Aunt Laura: I think I'm in the rotation for taking care of myself. I'm pretty much in tune with taking my shots, checking my blood sugar. I think I still think about it more than maybe I will three months from now but the routine is going good. Also, my blood sugars have been pretty good. Today I almost hit the unicorn it was 99 this morning. I did write my doctor yesterday. She did reassure me that I'm doing well.

Craig: Do you feel like you're doing well?

Aunt Laura: Yes. I think I'm understanding the relationship of what I eat and then how the insulin processes as well as my activity level. I still haven't committed to doing that half an hour of walking because it's windshield 13 below here, and I haven't hit the bike yet. I think it's because I'm thinking, "Okay, I see what the activity level is with my grandson days and I think well let me just get a handle on that." I'm still thinking if I can get that Dexcom that'll help me because then I'll have a better understanding of the relationship of how the blood sugar works throughout the day.

Craig: Is there a part of you that wants to just experiment, like go for the walk when you're 90 and just see what happens?

Aunt Laura: No, I'm not adventurous. That’s not me.

[laughter]

Aunt Laura: You know what, I might try the bike. The bike would be easier because then I'm here I could test after every 10 minutes if I wanted to. I think I would feel safer doing that than going out on a walk and being away from the house and having to carry stuff. Again, once I get the Dexcom, I'm assuming it's going to do that for me.

Craig: It seems like you're taking a very logical, scientific approach. It's like input this value of exercise plus carbs equals this blood sugar.

Aunt Laura: I have a degree in dietetics, so a lot of what you do-- when I worked in hospitals, you look at the labs, you look at the data, you look at the person's lifestyle. I'm trying to combine those and then look at it in that methodical way. Doesn't mean I'm always going to be right.

I understand that I'll probably get blood sugars that are too high or too low and I'll be like, "Well, why the heck did that happen?" I've only been diagnosed for what now, this is the third week and both the diabetic nurse and the doctor like, "Hey you are hitting the mark." Maybe it's because I have that background knowledge and I try to figure out things and then if I figure it out then at least I feel there's a little more control.

I would say there were a couple periods just to talk on the other side of the emotional, and there are moments, like yesterday I went to see a diabetic nurse and it's not fun to talk about heart disease, your kidneys, your blood pressure, your feet, your eyesight and so I wasn't thinking about all those things, but it became a little overwhelming, like, "I have to think about all this stuff plus just managing daily life." I think that's just normal. It's just kind of when you hear those things, you have to have that period of this is really not fun.

Craig: I don't know if there's ever a part that becomes fun.

Aunt Laura: Well, I got a nice note from your friend Cassie yesterday checking on me.

Craig: Good.

Aunt Laura: It was just a pleasant little, thinking of you hope you're doing okay. I wrote her back, told her I was doing well and then this morning she reassured me about travel so I'm feeling like that could be more manageable. Because when you're online, and this is the thing I've learned too, as much as you love hearing that people have the same issues you have or I've had the same difficulties when you're new at this, it's overwhelming to see a listing of all the horrible things that happened when I traveled.

Craig: It's like the Yelp effect where you only review things when it's bad. Like when you go and you have a good meal, like, "That was a good meal." Maybe you're one of those people who's like, "I'm going to tell other people how good it was." Most of the time you don't care until it's, "There was a hair in my burrito." That's when you go online and you say, “Don't eat here.” And so it's that effect of everyone is saying, "Don't travel because this happened." You don't hear all the people who say, "I traveled and everything was fine."

Aunt Laura: It's more the newness that makes me more nervous. I probably will do the vacation, but it will be more of, "Hey, if you guys want to go out to dinner, fine. If you want to bring in dinner, fine." What I do is what I'm going to do in order to feel like I'm okay. It's a very low key vacation. It's not a vacation where we're planning to do these huge hiking tours or being on a tour bus all day or do all that kind of stuff. It makes it a little easier. I'm still waiting for that Dexcom but it's crazy. They had put in the order, I didn’t hear anything.

I put an online order and just that, well, I'm going to fill out the form and they said, “You're already in our system." Then I called and they said, "Well, all we need is your insurance." I'm like, "Okay, well I could have called last week to give you that." Now I'm waiting for the insurance to approve, but I'm going to call again today because he gave me my rep's number. I'm just going to see if I can kick start it a little.

Craig: Have you talked to your insurance?

Aunt Laura: No, but today I'm going to call them. Well, you know what, whatever it is at this point, I'm going to pay because I really want the Dexcom. I have to contact the insurance because I was told that I need to have the doctor order me the extra insulin for a vacation. I have to get approval from the insurance company. At least that's what the pharmacy told me. It's all these little things. It's the little stuff as in anything else in life that drives you nuts.

Craig: The little things. It's the calling insurance, it's the calling the doctor, it's the going to the pharmacy. It's those little things that add up the parts where it just count carbs, give insulin or go for a run, you're not doing that 20 hours a day. That's three hours, two hours a day is that part and the rest of it is just the little things adding up.

Aunt Laura: It's like when you have a baby, all of a sudden you're carrying around the diapers and the bottles and the bibs and the spoons and the extra clothes and wipes and all of a sudden you have this extra that you have to think about all the time.

Craig: It's like you're the baby.

[laughter]

Aunt Laura: A big baby. I'm sure the type threes would probably say, "Sometimes you act like a baby." [laughs]

Craig: You and your husband, my uncle, how is that been?

Aunt Laura: Well he's probably listening. Are you listening, Kent?

Curt: Yes.

Aunt Laura: Yes, he is listening. Usually like this morning he told me to stop talking, so that's okay.

Craig: You just stop talking to him.

Aunt Laura: About anything diabetes, just stop. He'll tell me, stop. We're done for the--

Kent: You’re making me sound terrible.

Aunt Clara: No, I'm not making you sound terrible. It's because 99% of time he's totally there and he gets it. He went with me to see the diabetic nurse. He's gone with me to the doctors. He's learning how to read carbs, he helps me figure out the carbs that are meal, 99% there. I know that 1% when I start, I wouldn't say obsessing, but I'm trying to really process something so I would say right now it's going okay, but hey, we've been married for what, 36 years. Hey, this is just the way we are.

Craig: Maybe that helps, you already have that dialogue, that relationship that you can do that.

Aunt Laura: I realize it's also for my own mental health. Then I need to, "Okay, maybe I need to just go do something else. Go work on something else."

Craig: Do you feel like you're obsessing over it?

Aunt Laura: I don't think I obsess. I think there are periods like this morning, the doctor wrote me back from yesterday and I made your uncle come and read her note to make sure I read it right. Is this what she said? On those days I only want to take one unit. And he's like, "Yes, you read it right." But I need somebody to just confirm for me that I'm reading it correctly and this is what I need to do and so he's good about that. He's been very supportive. I love him very much. Sometimes I feel the guilt that I've put this into our life and it's that guilt that I did something wrong to get this.

It's just a sadness that vacation is different now or our daily life of meals are different now. Me trying to figure out now how to make sure a meal is just as good for him as it is for me because I'm looking at it differently, but I want to get to where I'm making the things that we always had and feeling like he's not just getting a plate to meet my carb requirement.

Craig: Maybe you'll find as you get more comfortable with it that you might not feel so regimented. With your blood sugars back down to more normal ranges, do you feel better?

Aunt Laura: I wouldn't say I was tired because I wasn't taking naps, I wasn't feeling like I couldn't do daily activities, but maybe I was just feeling like I don't want to do a lot. Now maybe I'm feeling like I have a little more energy and I can do things around the house, I don't know. Maybe I put off doing stuff in that funk period.

Craig: But it seems like better in general.

Aunt Laura: Especially you don't like the diagnosis, there is reassurance in knowing the diagnosis, I mean you know what it is. I believe in knowledge there's power. In knowing everything, knowing how to deal with it and recognizing things gives you the power to take care of it. I don't want to be in denial. Having the knowledge to say, "Okay, this is what I look for, this is what I need to do, this is how I can do it." It gives you some reassurance in your day.

Craig: On the next episode of Thicker Than Water. Aunt Laura tries making some of the meals they used to have.

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Craig: Thicker Than Water is a production of Beta Cell and it's produced by me Craig's Dewing. As always, a very special thanks to my Aunt Laura. This beautiful cover of Lean on me is by the very talented Nina Ragonese. If you haven't yet subscribed to Beta Cell, wherever you listen to podcasts to get all of our shows download onto your listening device as soon as they're available. If you love Thicker Than Water or any of the Beta Cell shows, you can support some patrion there you can get bonus clips, as well as our brand new support only show out of range after dark.

I'm Craig and this is Thicker Than Water.

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